ring in the new year

THE PHRASE "ring in the New Year" has a new resonance for 2015. Literally, Juan and I have new rings. He surprised me with one for Christmas and I, of course returned the favor as an engagement promise. Since we live in Georgia, the legal significance of these rings is yet to be determined, but in our hearts they mean what they always mean when any couple wears them. Mr. and Mr. will soon (hopefully) become a real possibility, now that 35 states, plus the District of Columbia have marriage equality laws in the books for same-sex couples.

MR. & MR. | This bottle bag from Crate & Barrel contains the bubbly for a sparking new year.

THE NEW YEAR is always about change. It's about leaving the past behind and embracing the future. Just the fact that products are appearing in the market that tout same sex togetherness such as this linen mr. and mr. bottle bag from a forward-thinking business (Crate and Barrel). These products make a toast to a reality that we are embracing ahead of the fact. We are using it here to hold our New Year champagne.

RINGING TOGETHER | This ring dish from Crate & Barrel will give our rings a resting place that we can always find as we are both constantly misplacing things (especially cell phones and remote controls).

THIS MEANS A LOT to both of our futures. And we have begun building this future together in earnest. It's exciting to know that our partnership might one day soon be recognized by the world we live in . . . just like everyone else. Our rings are the only tangible commitment we have to that right now, aside from what we hold in our hearts. As soon as we got our rings, we talked about a centralized place to keep them when we weren't wearing them. Crate and Barrel also helped us out with that dilemma with this Mr. & Mr. ring dish.

DEER IN THE FOREST | Made in Germany by Ino Schaller Bayern, a family tradition since 1894, is famous for their paper mache candy containers. The company also makes glittery bottle brush trees and the doe figurine seen here (as well as the stags).

IT HAS BEEN and eventful 2014 for both Juan and I. And we are looking forward to a long future together. We don't really need a marriage contract for that, but it will greatly help us in the eyes of the law. All of the benefits that most people take for granted with a legal marriage will be rightfully ours . . . finally. As an animal totem the deer symbolizes Juan and I exploring our own magical and spiritual nature together. The deer is a definitive symbol of grace and an appreciation for the beauty of balance.

BRUSH, BUBBLY, AND POP | Champagne served in these Edge Champagne Glasses from Crate & Barrel have a decidedly modern sensibility. Confetti Mini Crackers from West Elm pop apart to reveal surprise gifts.

OUR TOAST FOR 2015 is to continue along our trail to a future we can only dream of together. The crackers included in these photos are traditionally a Christmas favorite in the United Kingdom. Since we're planning on spending Christmas in London in 2015, that future is looking bright already! Happy New Year!

©2014 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

collecting, photography and styling by Darryl Moland.

under the stars

IF FOR NO OTHER REASON than to wish for a true soul partner—gazing upward at a starry sky from an unencumbered beach unspoiled by the lights of civilization—can bring one’s destiny into focus. An entirely romantic notion? Possibly. But it is worthwhile to succumb to the humbling presence of limitless sky. In a fleeting moment, you can feel as though you’ve tapped into the divine plan for the universe. 

SEASHELLS AND CANDLELIGHT | An assemblage of shells and other objects, a few of which were found on the beach at Tulum; encroach the container of this driftwood tree. The candle (its cucumber lime scent being named Tulum) was one of a few thoughtful birthday gifts this year from Devin Borden, my fellow traveler (and partner of two years) to that magical place in Mexico last November. The small "tree" attached to a piece of coral was found during a walk down the beach at sunrise on the last morning of our trip. Aside from the many unforgettable memories, this is the most cherished souvenir I returned home with—a piece of nature serving as a sort of divining rod to uncover the inspiration and resonance for this post's writing months after this life-changing trip.

HAVING THIS EXPERIENCE with someone you wish to be a living and growing part of your life will ignite a fire at your core that can never be extinguished by absence. If anything, if you truly love someone, “absence does make the heart grow fonder.” Plato theorized that each person is half of an androgynous being split by the gods, creating male and female. Within us, at a deeply subconscious level, we know something is amiss; and we seek wholeness again.

THE DIVIDE might not always be a distinct separation between male and female. There are components of both in all of us. Like puzzle pieces without an image imprinted on them, it is difficult to recognize how the fit comes together. But with enough turns, and enough inward and outward examination, the shapes can finally be matched and locked together.

DRIFTWOOD AND STARS | The garland loosely wrapped around this driftwood tree is made from plastic-coated electrical wire in yellow and green, strung with metal stars implying the "electric circuitry" of the night sky. These stars have been oxidized to create a rich verdigris patina—representing the alchemy and magic seen in the night sky layered with millions of stars.

THE LIGHT REFLECTED from the stars speaks to us. When laid bare before our eyes we are reminded that we are tiny pieces of an unimaginably infinite universe. We can be manipulated by change as easily as the slightest breeze wafts yesterday’s dust into a corner. But we can will ourselves to make our lives happen right before us. We always have a choice to seek, to learn, and to find our own paths.

SUPERNATURAL TOPPER | I've cherished this unusual winged mermaid for many years. Holding the treetop star, she finds a symbolic home atop this tree. With her fish tail and wings, she embodies the link between the earth and the sky, creating a perfect visual metaphor for the larger-than-the-both-of-us connection we felt that night under the stars.

THIS IS THE STUFF of life. Our journey, our meanderings under an infinite immovable sky, are revealed to us in an awesome glory, guiding us in ways beyond our will, beyond our reality, and beyond our imagination. Finding this resonance with a soul partner is the ultimate intent of my dreams. I want us to grow together into a creation unimagined by our limited view of events and ideas for which we absurdly place a label of truth.

STAR PATINA | Some of the metal stars developed interesting color patterns during the oxidation process, forming a varied, but cohesive palette for the neutral background of driftwood assembled into a tree.

THE REAL TRUTH is found in our humblest moments. Moments that resonate at our core in an honest movement through time and space that is entirely precious and profoundly creative. This creative force is love—pure and simple. What our past was, as seen from our future deserves more than a blink when looking back across our shoulders. It is possible that an eternally binding love still grows between us.

MAY THE BLINDING ambient and “civilized“ artificial light of our daily lives not obscure the stars. May we always remember the way we felt and what we saw in that multi-layered night together. And may we learn to cherish those who make us whole again. May we learn to assemble those fleeting moments into a union as sure as the footprints we leave in the damp sand. And maybe we’ll finally see those limitless moments as clearly as the unobscured starry skies we look deeply into to navigate our futures—together—even if we’re apart.

ONE MUST STILL HAVE CHAOS IN ONESELF TO GIVE BIRTH 

TO A DANCING STAR. 

—NIETZSCHE

TULUM MEMORIES | A vacation collage assembled from only a few of the photos from our trip to Tulum, Mexico in November 2012. In the photo of me at bottom left, I'm holding a diminuative "tree" embedded in a piece of coral, after finding it on the last morning of our stay there. Instantly becoming one of my most cherished trip souvenirs, it makes a reappearance among the seashells in the photos above—a definite talisman of good memories and future dreams.

WATCH THIS! WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO AWE:

©2013 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

collecting, photography and styling by Darryl Moland

Luci in the sky

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. —Anatole France

IF THERE WAS ever a reason to relate the unique bond that sometimes humans are lucky enough to be able to share with animals, then there would be no words to describe such a profound and wordless expression of love. Poetry could possibly come close, but true-to-form, the love (and bond) I shared with my Calico cat Luci was indescribable in words, except to say that I've never had a more amazing connection with an animal. She brought such pure love and light into my life, I wonder sometimes if I could have made it through some of the losses and trials I've been through in the past few years without her. Now that she is gone from this plane of existence, I'll have to find my way back to her with all the good memories she left with me.

BARELY ABLE to write the Saint Patrick's post I had already prepared the photos for last week, I was at a loss, but did it to take my mind off of my grief, if only temporarily. It was written last Tuesday on the evening of the day I had to let Luci go "run with the Gods." I titled that post "faith, hope, love and luck." And I had in mind a double meaning when that title was decided, as that was a set of words that could also describe the reasons for the angst I felt in my loss. It was almost impossible to make the decision to have her euthanized because she wasn't letting go of this life very willingly and I wasn't letting go of her because I was able to care for her well in those last days without her being too uncomfortable. But I know she was hanging on for me as much as anything, and that awful decision finally had to be made for her sake. For this week's post, I add the word "light" to that list of words . . . in honor of Luci.

THIS FIRST day of spring was a rainy one here, but last Tuesday, when I had to let her go, it was a beautiful, sunny and warm day that felt more like the first day of spring than today. Being an indoor cat with only minimal time outside during her life, I took her outside that day. She bathed in the sun, breathed in the fresh springlike air and even attempted to nibble a few fresh grass blades. Coming home this evening, after the rain had let up, I looked up into the sky and saw the stars more clearly than usual (with all the ambient light a city like Atlanta creates). Maybe it was only Luci looking back at me and allowing me to see more stars in the sky than I thought possible. There's something about the days of mourning after a great loss that makes one more cognizant of the profound things the universe holds—so easily missed—in our busy lives. I'm paying close attention to that and I'm trying my best to remember that through the tears I've shed after loosing my constant and beautiful companion. She's just with me in a different way now and it will take some adjustment.

LUCI WAS a magical cat if there ever was one. Her name Luci (short for Lucifur) quickly became one that held the meaning "light-bearer" instead of what one would commonly think of as a name for Satan (Lucifer) in English. Lucern ferre in Latin literally means light-bearer—the morning star or dawn appearance of the Planet Venus that heralds daylight. The name Lucifur stuck for the wrong reasons when she was a kitten, as she was so active and mischievous, but was quickly shortened to "Luci." The Gods must have known then that it would have a deeper and more resonant meaning as the years spent with her came and went. Over sixteen years later, growing from a kitten to a beautiful diva, she makes her exit to the stars. I can only hope her becoming part of the collective consciousness of souls creates more of the light and love needed for this existence in larger quantities than ever before.

I DEARLY LOVED Luci. She left a big void and my heart aches in her absence. It will never be the same without her, but I know her light will continue to illuminate the way. I must keep my eyes open to it and become as watchful to the unseen as a cat.

MEMORIAL | (Top) For some reason, the color red became suddenly significant after loosing Luci. I found this stone cat that was carved in Kenya on the day Luci died.This weekend, I picked red camellia flowers and red-berried holly (both evergreens) from a friend's yard to make a memorial arrangement (composed in a milk glass fish bowl vase). A terra cotta bird Jon gave me this Valentine's day sits atop a tiled bone box bought to hold Luci's ashes. A Christmas bell ornament that Lowell gave me this past season with the word "dream" written on it sits next to the red stone cat carving. Jon and Lowell are two very important men in my life that have realized and shared the incredible love bond with Luci that I did. Lowell was there for the formative years of Luci's comfortable life and I thank him for giving his own brand of magical love to Luci. Jon has been with me the whole time through Luci's illness and death (and a while in health) and I thank him for his incredible love, grace and recognition. Luci thanked them both in in her amazing way of bonding with them.

YOUNGER YEARS | (Above, bottom) This black-and-white photo of Luci taken by Lowell about mid-way through her life has always been one of my favorites. The magical beam of light in her eyes is evident.

©2010 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 memorial photograph and styling by Darryl Moland
photograph of Luci by Lowell Hylden