white wedding

WHO  KNEW?  Queen Victoria wore a white wedding dress. That in itself may not seem like news at all, but since she's widely credited with starting the tradition, it's a revelation. It followed that Victorian era elites, rapturously reading and writing the etiquette books of the day, took Victoria's lead and embellished it with the "connotation of innocence and sexual purity." 

FAST  FORWARD to over a century later and the Billy Idol song "White Wedding" served to heighten the fantasy of a virgin bride. Some say that he wrote the song to express his displeasure with his sister's fiancé impregnating her before marrying her. It was a nice day (meaning the '80s) for a white wedding, because it was one of Idol's most successful songs.

VICTORIA and husband/cousin Albert are also subsequently credited for popularizing the modern Christmas tree. Either alone is a testament to the great effect these kissing cousins had on modern culture. She was the longest-ruling monarch of Great Britain (64 years!), during a time of economic and imperial expansion (Albert died early in 1861). Victoria gave her name to the Victorian Era, but she was also nicknamed the "grandmother of Europe" since the fruitful couple had four sons and five daughters to keep the royal lineage going for decades to come (42 grandchildren).

“Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in gray, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen. Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.”

—From The History of the White Wedding Dress by Kelsey McIntyre

IN  ANY  CASE, weddings are steeped in tradition, rituals and superstition all-at-once. A bridal set of ornaments is an elegant gift that brings the seasons all together in one set, whether used only around Christmas or separately throughout the year, or both. A wedding in June—is surprisingly only the second most popular month for weddings—even with the "June bride" being part of the cultural dialog. June falls just below September in wedding month popularity (according to the Knot). Victoria and Albert's wedding date was February 10, 1840, so the June bride didn't start there (that may go back to Roman times). In true Victoria (not Victorian) form, it seems like the only tradition today is to break with tradition, making your wedding unique—a reflection of your own personal style. Maybe, also, one day it won't be so unique for gay people to legally marry in this country and it will be passed into law, for better or worse. I doubt if it will interfere with the sanctity of marriage. And it certainly is better than marrying your cousin. Being a gay man from Alabama, I can say that with hope and conviction, having been in two long-term, live-together relationships, nine and six years respectively, both with whom I still maintain good friendships.

ACCORDING  TO  German tradition, a set of  bride's tree ornaments (all photos this post) are twelve symbols of a happy home—a nice gift to wish the newlywed couple success in marriage and life. Follow the numbers to find the meaning, ritual or superstition behind each:

1) BIRD | symbol of joy and happiness
2) ANGEL | symbol of guidance
3) RABBIT | reflects hope and peace with nature
4) FRUIT BASKET | symbolizes generosity and plenty
5) HEART | symbol of true love
6) PINE CONE | represents motherhood and fruitfulness
7) FLOWER BASKET | symbolizes good wishes or beauty in the home 
8) ROSE | symbol of affection  
9) HOUSE | represents protection or shelter
10) FISH | represents fertility and faith
11) TEAPOT | represents hospitality
12) SANTA | is a symbol of goodwill, giving and sharing

WRAPPING an heirloom such as this set of ornaments warrants a reusable box with protective squares of archival tissue. I've added squares of wide shimmery organza ribbon as an accent. The bride's ornament set can be found in pre-packaged gift-boxed sets, but since this set was found individually, an ornament box was necessary to contain it. This starter set of holiday ornaments can be used together at Christmas or individually, according to the season. Small inexpensive honeycomb wedding bells are a nice topper to the gift instead of a traditional bow (they can also be positioned half-opened, taped to the top of the wrapped box).

WEDDING TABLEAU | (Top) This unusually neutral white and silver bride's tree set was found individually a few seasons ago at Star Provisions in Atlanta. I had to replace the original house ornament which was broken with a similar one from the grand daddy of the German glassblowing tradition, Krebs Lauscha. (Center) I've numbered the set of ornaments to correspond with the list of their meanings. (Bottom) If found individually, it's a nice gesture to archive the ornaments for gift-giving and keeping. The linen napkin with beautiful silver-threaded stitching is by Thomas O'brien, from his Vintage Modern line for Target in 2005. The paper daisies were found at Michaels and the honeycomb wedding bells are from Martha Stewart Crafts.

©2010 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

photography and styling by Darryl Moland

natural selection

WE ARE NOT living in an age of subtlety. "Reality" shows abound on television where the most obnoxious, outrageous and gaudy get all the attention. No publicity, is bad publicity anymore, even for State Dinner crashers and sons of reality show wannabe parents that hold the media aloft chasing spaceship balloons for hours on end. Christmas decorations have accordingly become gaudier and gaudier in large part due to florists and department store visual display artists trying to outdo each other in public displays. That's how they sell it—build a gaudy spectacle and they will come. This is not how it should be done at home. Somebody forgot the caveat "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME" somewhere along the line. I remember hearing the mantra of a very successful florist — "if it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing." Not so, when decorating at home.

I CAN CERTAINLY see the m.o. in that credo, and I for one, can appreciate the glee in over-the-top decorations. There's something about gaudy American consumerist spectacle that gives me a particularly sick sort of comfort—it's as if you're not part of the game if you don't participate. More lights in more configurations than you thought humanly possible? The more, the merrier! Commercial-sized plastic blow-up yard ornaments that lie in misshapen piles while the owners are at work during the day? Not so much. It's like getting behind rubbernecking traffic in a 10-car pileup on the interstate. One just hopes they can get by without seeing a crumpled mess, or even worse, a bloody scene, but you're still stuck in the slowed-to-a-standstill traffic. Commerce has overlaid the gentle quietness of nature.

WITHIN ITS ORIGINS, the tradition of the decorated tree began with a simple, some may say, superstitious, hope for the return to spring (as if the turning of the seasons was not a surefire thing). Nevertheless, a reverence for nature is slowly being welcomed back into decorating— bringing the ceremonial symbolism and true meaning of the decorated tree back to its noble origins. A beautiful symbol of the season is a glittery tree shaped from metal "twigs" and adorned with a subdued nod to the natural world in winter whites, tans and grays (above, right). The inclusion of animal ornaments; a polar bear, a mature deer and a small bird are indicative of what can be found in the market which pay homage to endangered species. It's as if we're grasping for an apology to the natural world for what we've done to it. Aside from being visually assaulted at every turn, it is becoming more and more apparent that we are destroying our own natural environment. We have a lot to learn from the pristine natural world (both flora and fauna) in its utter grace and simplicity. No matter how breathtakingly awesome the size of its vista, the natural world, as resilient as it is, is still ultimately fragile when you look at the underlying ecosystem. Nature depends on a complex system of co-habitation and synchronization and it is less and less able to cope with the destruction wrought by humans and the waste and byproducts of industrial "civilization." Pollution comes in too many forms.

MORE AND MORE one can find natural-themed ornaments— made from eco-friendly materials (or at least not plastic or resin). Some of the first ornaments I made as a kid were from a kit my mother bought me made of felt cutouts sewn together and glued with sequins and trim, similar to the felt reindeer ornament here (but much less sophisticated, of course) that seemingly dances among the (wooden, laser-cut) snowflakes (above, left). The Germans are most famous for their glass ornaments, but are also consummate woodcrafters. The two wooden  hand-carved folk art span trees (right) are carved, amazingly enough, from a single piece of linden wood with carefully-cut shavings curled upward to form their branches—works of art in themselves that need no ornamentation. The tableau is rounded out with a couple of hand-blown, metallic-finished glass ornaments, a birch bark folded star ornament, sweetgum tree fruits painted silver (given to me by my friend Julia Neville) and a pewter leaf ornament.

THE IMAGE (at left— click on to enlarge) illustrates my point more succinctly and poignantly as only art can do. I am thrilled to have permission to show the work of a very talented artist named Jaime Zollars. In the description of this piece by Jaime, it is succinctly said: "This image of forest creatures making the best of a bleak situation illustrates hope and the true spirit of the holiday season." In remembering that true spirit, I hope this gives one pause to stop and take time to remember that nature is ultimately responsible for the bounty of the season. Look to it to inspire and inform your holiday decorations. This method to our holiday madness is something we can all hope to achieve. And by doing so, we rejoin nature on a warm wind of change. 

WINTER WISHES |  This metal wire tree from Anthropologie is coated with glittery beads and is hung with a subdued color palette of ornaments: Czechoslovakian beaded ornaments, silvery gray mercury glass baubles and German glass-glittered snowflakes demonstrate the simple composition of this tableau. Beautifully-rendered animal ornaments stand watch and remind us that their environment and ours are essentially one-in-the-same and has to be taken into account for the survival of all. 

SNOWFLAKE DANCER | The artfully, beaded and stitched felt reindeer is from Homegoods. The laser cut wooden snowflakes are from West Elm (large), Target (medium) and Anthropologie (small). 

GERMAN FOLK ART | These wooden folk art span trees are carved from a single piece of linden wood curl by curl and layer by layer with a method developed in the 1930's by talented German craftsmen (these are from Straco and purchased at Homegoods). The two handblown glass ornaments have a beautiful rich crackled "tarnished" silver finish were bought at an arts festival in Atlanta, the birch bark folded star ornament was purchased from Martha by Mail a few years back. The sweetgum tree fruit is spray-painted silver and the pewter leaf ornament came from a shop in the North Georgia mountains. 

©2009 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED,

collecting and styling by Darryl Moland, 
photography (top, right) Harold Daniels Studio / 
assisted by Shawn May, 
(middle, left and bottom, right) Darryl Moland.
Artwork (bottom, left) by Jaime Zollars.
 

song of (her) life

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. 
It sings because it has a song.
                                                —Chinese Proverb

I'M   F A S C I N A T E D  with birds. This spring, I hung three bird feeders in a dying tree to bring some life to it. They bring a myriad of birds to dine just outside my dining room window.

I'M   N O T   S U R E  whether it was when crows weirdly gathered on my mother's hospital room window ledge while she was on her deathbed, but ever since then I've been especially aware of birds whenever I see them. I've always loved their happy nature and it's obvious they have an uncanny sense of their surroundings in possessing a profound sense of the natural order of things.

T H E Y   B R I N G  a cheerful song to anyone who takes the time to listen. My mother gave our family the song of her life. In doing so, she gave us all an authentic sense of ourselves. My sister and I were at her bedside when she died. I was holding mother's left hand and my sister held her right hand. It was a heart-wrenching, but profound experience watching her take her last breath—the woman who was there for both of us for our first breath. I've never felt such a desperate loss and uplifting sense of peace at the same time, but I did that day (July 10, 2005). I felt as if my world had been turned inside-out and upside-down. I'll always remember my mother telling me when she knew something I thought she didn't. She would say, "A little bird told me so." I believed it. Now I know—birds must be protectors of the soul.

M E S S E N G E R S  of love and harbingers of good things to come, glass birds have become a universal symbol of happiness and joy when placed on the decorated tree. Few glassblowing studios make them well because they are one of the more difficult ornaments to make. You'll find them with actual feathers for tails, but in Germany, their tails were originally made from bundles of spun glass. Both types have their own charm. More often than not, they are attached to springed clips so you can position them atop branches of the tree, rather than hanging below. This makes them very useful in composing a beautiful tree.

C O N V I N C E D  they are our protectors, I think birds can foretell things to come—both good and bad. Imagine if you always had a bird's-eye view of life. No matter which they bring, they always give us joyful songs of life. Even though we don't know a word they are saying, we understand them to be wise creatures, indeed.

A N D  T O  T H E  women who raised me—my mother and my sister (shorty momma)—I know you're out there—I love you both with all of my heart and soul.

HAPPY HARBINGERS | These three bird ornaments were bought as a boxed set, from Michael's Stores, Inc. (above, right). They are attached to a dead stem from the tree which I hung bird feeders this spring (left), which decorate the tree just outside my dining room window.

©2009 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

collecting, photography and styling by Darryl Moland