Luci in the sky

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. —Anatole France

IF THERE WAS ever a reason to relate the unique bond that sometimes humans are lucky enough to be able to share with animals, then there would be no words to describe such a profound and wordless expression of love. Poetry could possibly come close, but true-to-form, the love (and bond) I shared with my Calico cat Luci was indescribable in words, except to say that I've never had a more amazing connection with an animal. She brought such pure love and light into my life, I wonder sometimes if I could have made it through some of the losses and trials I've been through in the past few years without her. Now that she is gone from this plane of existence, I'll have to find my way back to her with all the good memories she left with me.

BARELY ABLE to write the Saint Patrick's post I had already prepared the photos for last week, I was at a loss, but did it to take my mind off of my grief, if only temporarily. It was written last Tuesday on the evening of the day I had to let Luci go "run with the Gods." I titled that post "faith, hope, love and luck." And I had in mind a double meaning when that title was decided, as that was a set of words that could also describe the reasons for the angst I felt in my loss. It was almost impossible to make the decision to have her euthanized because she wasn't letting go of this life very willingly and I wasn't letting go of her because I was able to care for her well in those last days without her being too uncomfortable. But I know she was hanging on for me as much as anything, and that awful decision finally had to be made for her sake. For this week's post, I add the word "light" to that list of words . . . in honor of Luci.

THIS FIRST day of spring was a rainy one here, but last Tuesday, when I had to let her go, it was a beautiful, sunny and warm day that felt more like the first day of spring than today. Being an indoor cat with only minimal time outside during her life, I took her outside that day. She bathed in the sun, breathed in the fresh springlike air and even attempted to nibble a few fresh grass blades. Coming home this evening, after the rain had let up, I looked up into the sky and saw the stars more clearly than usual (with all the ambient light a city like Atlanta creates). Maybe it was only Luci looking back at me and allowing me to see more stars in the sky than I thought possible. There's something about the days of mourning after a great loss that makes one more cognizant of the profound things the universe holds—so easily missed—in our busy lives. I'm paying close attention to that and I'm trying my best to remember that through the tears I've shed after loosing my constant and beautiful companion. She's just with me in a different way now and it will take some adjustment.

LUCI WAS a magical cat if there ever was one. Her name Luci (short for Lucifur) quickly became one that held the meaning "light-bearer" instead of what one would commonly think of as a name for Satan (Lucifer) in English. Lucern ferre in Latin literally means light-bearer—the morning star or dawn appearance of the Planet Venus that heralds daylight. The name Lucifur stuck for the wrong reasons when she was a kitten, as she was so active and mischievous, but was quickly shortened to "Luci." The Gods must have known then that it would have a deeper and more resonant meaning as the years spent with her came and went. Over sixteen years later, growing from a kitten to a beautiful diva, she makes her exit to the stars. I can only hope her becoming part of the collective consciousness of souls creates more of the light and love needed for this existence in larger quantities than ever before.

I DEARLY LOVED Luci. She left a big void and my heart aches in her absence. It will never be the same without her, but I know her light will continue to illuminate the way. I must keep my eyes open to it and become as watchful to the unseen as a cat.

MEMORIAL | (Top) For some reason, the color red became suddenly significant after loosing Luci. I found this stone cat that was carved in Kenya on the day Luci died.This weekend, I picked red camellia flowers and red-berried holly (both evergreens) from a friend's yard to make a memorial arrangement (composed in a milk glass fish bowl vase). A terra cotta bird Jon gave me this Valentine's day sits atop a tiled bone box bought to hold Luci's ashes. A Christmas bell ornament that Lowell gave me this past season with the word "dream" written on it sits next to the red stone cat carving. Jon and Lowell are two very important men in my life that have realized and shared the incredible love bond with Luci that I did. Lowell was there for the formative years of Luci's comfortable life and I thank him for giving his own brand of magical love to Luci. Jon has been with me the whole time through Luci's illness and death (and a while in health) and I thank him for his incredible love, grace and recognition. Luci thanked them both in in her amazing way of bonding with them.

YOUNGER YEARS | (Above, bottom) This black-and-white photo of Luci taken by Lowell about mid-way through her life has always been one of my favorites. The magical beam of light in her eyes is evident.

©2010 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 memorial photograph and styling by Darryl Moland
photograph of Luci by Lowell Hylden 

the year of the tiger | 恭禧發財

HAPPY NEW YEAR! The traditional Chinese phrase: 恭禧發財 (also superimposed in photo of the decorated tree above) is the broad-brushed symbol for this sentiment. The Lunar New Year is regarded as the most important cultural holiday among Chinese, Vietnamese and other Asian nations. This year is the Year of the Tiger, which symbolizes strength. Personally, it is the to honor Luci, my beautiful Calico cat, who is a tiger in her own right. She has shown the strength to stay with me much longer than she should giving me 16 "Luci years" (all with her certain prosperity of luck, strength and beauty). I'm glad she's still with me now, but the new year will show me the strength to let her go to run with the gods.

THE NEW MOON changes are tracked by the lunisolar Chinese calendar (which consists of both Gregorian and lunar-solar calendar systems). The Chinese New Year celebration can begin anytime between late January and mid-February. This year, the 14th of February (Valentine's day) kicked off the beginning of the lunar calendar or Lunar New Year. This new beginning is the culmination of 15 days of spring festivals celebrating the event in China.

THE TREE I designed to celebrate the Year of the Tiger is inspired by the many rich traditions of the holiday. I wanted it to be a simple and elegant representation of only a few of the many and varied elements of this richly symbolic holiday. Using only mercury glass lantern ornaments in a sophisticated pallet of reds, golds and greens (from this past holiday season's Martha Stewart Collection at Macy's) hung from red cotton cords on simple natural branch forced into flower, I'm representing a time of renewal, rebirth and a precious celebration of life (honoring Luci along with the Lunar New Year).

HONG BAO NA LAI (紅包拿來) literally means "may I have the red envelope, please." Red is considered the luckiest color in China. During Chinese New Year, elders give lucky money in red envelope packets to the young people close to them, thus "hong bao" is essentially a cash gift. It is an important part of the New Year celebration. The ones you see in the photo at left have a large traditional Chinese symbol 發 (fa) with means literally "to emit," or rather "to send." It all depends on what other characters precede or follow it to complete the meaning of the expression. This one letterform symbol has more direct meaning when combined with others, but can imply so much standing alone. For instance, one can also think of it as  “to have plenty," 發財 (or "fa xai") can be translated as such.

WELL WISHES for good luck, happiness and prosperity  are the main sentiments embodied by the Chinese New Year traditions. But they are not the only ones. The celebrations are also centered around reconciliation and forgetting grudges. A clean sweep, if you will. This new year interpretation of a decorated tree is my way of relating this and more to all of the people (and little tigers) that bring the light of many multi-colored lanterns into my life. They give me the strength to recognize life's worth as clearly and as strongly as possible, seeing through the fog of uncertainty.

LANTERN FESTIVITY | (Top and middle) This "forced" tree branch is made quite elegant with the addition of mercury glass lantern ornaments from the Martha Stewart Collection 2009 at Macy's. The traditional paper lanterns used on the fifteenth day of the Chinese New Year for the Lantern Festival, are bright, colorful, and in many different shapes and sizes. The container holding the branch is an antique stoneware vase from a friend's private collection. The green spider mum symbolizing longevity (within a glass globe from Bungalow I bought a few years back, above, left) and in a vase by Victoria Hagen for Target (top), kumquats and oranges symbolizing prosperity and red envelopes (a custom explained above) are all a part of the varied traditions surrounding the holiday.

YEAR OF LUCI | This portrait of Luci (Above) was lovingly painted and given to me by Odette Colón, my dear friend (and talented co-worker) this past Christmas. When I received this incredible gift from the heart, I shed big blubbering tears of joy and grief at the same time. Looking at it prepares me for the inevitable loss of a life, and it will give me the strength to carry on after Luci is gone. I like to think all the good energy put into this painting has translated to her living longer than expected. Even so, I'm glad to have her already immortalized for the prosperity of life to continue. Already in addition to my Bengal Abella, I've added a lovable tuxedo cat that found me much like Luci did 16 years ago, coming into my life suddenly and without without warning. I think Luci somehow called for the new little one to help me in this transition. That's how magical Luci's existence has always been. And at the risk of coming off as a complete cornball, this last line of the song "Memory" from the musical "Cats" is more resonant than ever before: Look. A new day has begun.

©2010 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, collecting and styling by Darryl Moland, tree photographed by Harold Daniels Studio / assisted by Shawn May

winter wish

MY WISH is simply for love and light for all that I encounter. As just a moment in time, Winter Solstice will start specifically today at 12:47pm Eastern Standard Time. This occasion always marks the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The Earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun, and this signals the beginning shift to longer days and shorter nights. Also called Yule, it is a celebration of rebirth. Let's hope this coming year gives us plenty of the warmth and brightness that light brings to all things. It's not such a simple concept when you consider the implications. All too-often we forget to live fully in the moment.

MY TREE this year celebrates winter in all it's icy glory. As much as I dislike cold weather, I realize it's a chance for us all to reflect on what the warmth of the sun brings us. It has been an especially rainy season in Atlanta, and as I write this, the sun is shining brightly outside for the first time in days. My kitty Luci is sitting on her cat bed in the warmth of the sunlight streaming through the window. Our Pagan ancestry believed in the mystery and magic of light and darkness and celebrated the seemingly miraculous return of the light at Winter Solstice. No matter whether you subscribe to this system or not, it's the reason for the Christmas tree. And it's hard to deny that we don't all welcome our place in the sun.

LIGHT AND MAGIC | This year's Alpine-shaped tinsel tree (above, right) is from Urban Outfitters. I removed the tinsel wrapped trunk and glittered it with silver German glass glitter along with a turned-wood base to glam it up a bit. Tediously careful shaping of a wire tinsel tree like this is of utmost importance in the final look of the tree.The icicle theme was inspired by a wintry icicle tree I saw in Martha Stewart Living magazine this year, although very differently conceived (it is made up of acrylic rods).

THREE WISHES | These three mercury glass birds (above, left) represent the two people mentioned above and my cat Luci, who are all suffering with cancer. It is my wish that their pain is short and they continue to live as long as possible with dignity and grace.
By Smith and Hawken for Target. 

IN THIS TIME of  reflection, I want to send all the good energy and light I can conjure to two people in my life and to Luci, my cat, who are all three suffering with cancer. My Aunt Wilma has just learned that hers has spread, my good friend Janice Fletcher-White's sister Debbie Noel is sick, and my cat Luci is in her last days as the cancer takes hold. I don't know how much longer any of them will be in my life, but I wish that their suffering with such an insidious disease is as minimal as can be, whatever that might mean. Life is as ephemeral as the light and I'm thankful for all the people and creatures that have and continue to bring love and light to my life. You know who you are. Because of this, I know that the light will return, both physically and metaphorically, no matter what happens.

AS THE YEAR  comes to an end, this simple wish is the hope of the season. And I want to thank all of my friends and followers on this blog and wish them all the season's best. Since this past August, what I've brought to you in my blog has been a labor of love and a way to express my passion for the beauty of life. Spring will come to all of us again after our time with winter. There are lessons even in the darkest hours.

RAYS OF LIGHT | This gorgeous glass-beaded starburst tree topper (left) couldn't be more perfect to guide the light of the season. From Pottery Barn and available in the Atlanta Lenox Square store (the world's largest).

REINDEER PLAY | This glittered reindeer from Target prances among the packages. 

FATHER CHRISTMAS | The elongated form of this Father Christmas from a past season's Martha Stewart Collection at Macy's holds its own among the varied collection of icicle ornaments.

ICE AND SNOW | The large frosted white glass icicle is from the former Martha by Mail catalog. The white snowy owl keeping watch is from a past season's line at West Elm.

©2009 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED,
collecting and styling by Darryl Moland,
tree photographed by Harold Daniels Studio / assisted by Shawn May

all other photographs by Darryl Moland
 

harvest and abundance

T H A N K S G I V I N G   is a celebration of the fall harvest, mainly in the United States and Canada, although it is celebrated on different days—the second Monday in October in Canada and the fourth Thursday in November in the United States. A recent Thanksgiving for this American was begun by waking up and looking out the window at the first fresh snow of the season in Toronto, Canada. Growing up in the American South, a white Christmas is a lot to ask for, but this was a new kind of Thanksgiving—the first cold one away from family. That trip was a memorable one and the snow added a fresh, cold, crispness to the air. I'll never forget that day for many reasons, but the memory of the snow will be the one that sticks.

W H E A T,  of course is always a large part of any harvest and is traditionally a symbol of the abundance of the season. Christmas ornaments made of wheat (a Polish and Scandanavian tradition) symbolize a thanksgiving for the harvest, so the theme can be carried throughout the season. Being thankful for the abundance of life is always cause for celebration, but it is tempered by knowing that abundance is hard won. The glass ornaments shown in the photo (above, right) are symbols of home and abundance. Variations of cottage house ornaments with turkeys in front were created in Germany, Austria, and Czechoslovakia and first produced in the 1920's (these are new reproductions from Germany).

M Y   K I T T Y  Luci, who I introduced a few posts back has had an abundant and long life, but this Thanksgiving, while I still have her (she is fast being overcome by an especially nasty cancer on her tongue), the true test is to be thankful for all the times I have had with her, knowing that her days are numbered. She was a stray that appeared in my mine and my partner's life just before Thanksgiving in 1994. We brought her into our household and even after Lowell (my partner then) and I went our separate ways a number of years later, I've always felt like she was our child. It is because she found us that I feel especially lucky to have had such a wonderful life with her. And I am thankful to have been the one to keep her all these years. She has been a profound presence in my life (and in my lap as I write this). I'm not sure what I'll do without my beautiful little muse.

A S   A  B O Y, Thanksgiving always meant a big turkey and sage cornbread dressing with fresh giblet gravy, potato salad, creamed corn, green beans seasoned with pork, and cranberry sauce sliced from the can. I remember bringing in the day excitedly by watching the pomp and circumstance of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV with its gigantic helium balloons—with the Tom Turkey float ushering in a float with Santa on his sleigh. It was the beginning of the Christmas season then. Now, it starts as early as October.

A N D   S O  it is again. As I've said before, home is wherever my cats are. This warm, purring creature in my lap is the only reason I need to be thankful right now. A poem from a book my co-worker, Donna (also a lover of cats) gave me yesterday sums it up:

Cats may not be our servants

or our defenders,

but give us life,

Lying softly in laps, tuning their 

    heartbeats to our own,

singing away sorrow,

easing the mind,

unraveling the day.

Sharing the empty dark.

Like flowers, inexhaustible in beauty.

Like flowers, most necessary—

in ways we scarcely understand,

Healers, Companions.

Mysteries.
                    —Pam Brown 

TURKEY AND THE STRAW | (Top, right), these glass ornaments are symbols of home and abundance. The sheaves of wheat ornaments were made in Czechoslovakia for Martha by Mail a few years back The milk glass turkey candy dish also came from Martha by Mail. The hand-blown and hand-painted turkey cottage ornaments were made by a German company named Zehetner-Smith Design. 

TOM TURKEY |  (Middle, left), the goofy, but lovable Tom Turkey float in the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (even though I've only seen it on TV) has signaled the start of the Christmas season nearly every year since I was a boy.

YIN AND YANG | (Bottom, right), Abella (top) and Luci almost form a yin and yang figure on the bed last night—a rare glimpse of sisterly love. 

©2009 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

collecting, photography and styling by Darryl Moland

devilish or divine?

HALLOWEEN tricks or treats can be devilish or divine, respectively. But there's always an edge of one or the other with either—the good always comes along with the bad. Disguised blessings seem to be the rule—one has to stay cognisant of the bright side of things or the lesson learned. My beautiful Calico cat Luci (photo in this post) was diagnosed with cancer (squamous cell carcinoma) affecting her tongue just this week, so I'm greeting this holiday season with a grim perspective of how precarious life can be. I'm trying my best to keep in mind that I still have more precious time with her until that day comes. I try to find solace in knowing that she's fifteen—a ripe old age for a cat. Keeping hopes for the best, her future is uncertain. Cancer of this type is an insidious disease that is practically untreatable. As long as she is not suffering too much, I have her, but I won't let her suffer for my sake. I hope she'll let me know for sure when it is time.

HER NAME is actually Lucifur in longhand. In Latin, the name literally means "light-bearer." It is almost always used as a name for the devil (Lucifer) in Christian convention. The pagan myth of the fall of angels associated with the morning star was transferred and personified as Satan. But in my life with this incredible cat, I can't  begin to think of that name in a negative light. Some contend that Satan and Lucifer are two different beings. It's all mythology to me. Fallen angel or morning star, all I know is that my Luci has been a constant source of light for me and all those who know her.

ALTHOUGH a mischievious and playful kitten, she is quite a divine diva in her adulthood—and deservedly so. Instead of being a devil, she has always been a complete joy. She's the Cat in Man and Cat Omnidesign. Whatever amount of time she has left, she does and will live in my heart—a shining light and a true familiar spirit. She has become a part of my soul.

THE FRIVOLITY of the holidays is always balanced with things to spoil all the fun. St. Nicholas in Europe (especially in Austria) is accompanied by his companion Gruss vom Krampus (or Krampus for short), a devil-like creature with a long tongue (what a terrible irony with Luci's diagnosis). As St. Nicholas travels door-to-door leaving gifts for all the good boys and girls, Krampus deals with the ones who have behaved badly over the course of the year. Krampus is pretty harsh. He shackles the bad ones and stuffs them in a wood-staved pail on his back and carts them away, flailing them mercilessly with a switch from his birch bundle. The jolly, twinkly-eyed St. Nicholas is an American invention, patterned largely  on Washington Irving's tale of the good saint as chubby, pipe smoking and industrious figure. Irving was a member of the New York City Historical Society which promoted St. Nicholas as its patron saint. The writer Clement Clarke Moore's "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and the classic cartoon of Santa by Thomas Nast which illustrated Washington Irving's (under the pseudonym of Diedrich Knickerbocker) "History of New York from the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dynasty" popularized the modern form of Santa in America. This fictional history took hold and pretty much erased modern memory of St. Nicholas' discipline-dispensing companions. European traditions of St. Nicholas always rewarded the good and unleashed the punishment of the bad with his dastardly and devilish companions. 

ON THE EVE of St. Nicholas (December 5th), hordes of people gather in Austria and Hungary to participate in an unusual winter festival called "The Running of the Krampus" (or Krampuslauf). It is an Old World tradition in which young men dressed as Krampus are brought into town by the gift-giving St. Nicholas in his long robe, glistening miter (a bishop's hat) and carrying an ornate pastoral staff—and unleashed on the crowds. The furry Krampus costumes are largely handmade and elaborate, sometimes towering seven or eight feet tall. This all serves as a reminder to all that goodwill to all men and charity toward one another should be the modus operandi for all of us in the coming year.

MY CAT LUCI reminds me of all this with complete simplicity. All it takes is a nuzzle and a lick or a bite on the nose to let me know that good behavior is reflected back toward one in many unexpected and mysterious ways. One has to take the bad with the good. Love is as ephemeral as the morning star. Love bites, licks and is warm and furry. And regretfully, it is ephemeral in the end. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

DEVIL IN THE DETAILS | A publishing anomaly it seems (not available at this time), I found this beautifully-designed "Red Fire" edition Bible (above, right) at Ross on the clearance book shelf. It is a bit of cultural anthropology that illustrates the sometimes myopic and unwitting mistakes the culture of publishing makes, along with the sometimes desperate attempts to moving the young masses by modern religion (to make it "cool"). It is accompanied by a mouthblown and handpainted devil/Krampus head ornament by Inge Glas of Germany. Imagine a proselytizing barker standing on the street corner holding this Bible toward heaven and yelling out fiery words of hellfire and damnation.

KRAMPUS AND CAT | A valuable antique Krampus (probably German) scrap ornament framed by a circle of lametta tinsel is from the mid-to late 1800's. It is shown with Halloween postcards, one of which is postmarked October 28, 1908. The stalwart cat sitting on a fence and silhouetted by a full moon is a die-cut Halloween invitation from the Martha Stewart Crafts line at Michael's (2008). The small bumpy glass ornaments from Martha Stewart Everyday at Kmart.

KRAMPUS IN DISGUISE | An unusual candy-colored interpretation of Krampus (left) by talented illustrator Ana Bagayan is deceptively inviting (used with her permission). Her blog is here.

©2009 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 

photography and styling by Darryl Moland, illustration ©Ana Bagayan

glass houses, stone calendar

T H E   I D I O M  "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" is a well-worn one (idiom, not stone). Of course, it means that anyone criticizing anyone else should have their own house in order before they throw stones (criticism) themselves. It's a hard thing to do for most people, including me—especially the 'house-in-order' stuff.

T R A N S P A R E N C Y  seems to be the catch-word of the day. It seems we live in times where privacy is non-existent. Could this be part of the paradigm shift in consciousness talk about coinciding with the end of the Mayan calendar on December 21st, 2012? Is it the apocalypse? Or just another day of slow, tedious destruction of our life-giving natural environment? Maybe it's just good fodder for another cataclysmic Hollywood movie.

H O M E   S E E M S  to be  the only safe space left—in order or not. And it's always where my cats are (hence the name of my freelance business—Man and Cat Omnidesign). My calico named Luci and my Bengal named Abella seem to have it all figured out. They spend their days relaxing, sleeping and eating; while the rest of us get all geeked out on doomsday stories or the more pressing stuff that fills our days to exhaustion. Maybe cats have already shifted their consciousness and we should take a cue from them to just relax. Why else would the Egyptians have thought them to be gods? Ancient civilizations (like the Mayans and Egyptians) seemed to be onto something cataclysmal, but life-affirming. 



GLASS HOUSES | These mercury glass house ornaments were collected from (top, right) Cost Plus World Market (with snow), Star Provisions, Ebay (antique gold with trees), and a Christmas shop at Biltmore Estates (gingerbread house ornament mouth-blown and hand painted in the Czech Republic by Holiday Lane). The stones are from the creek bed that was the neighborhood swimming hole when I was a boy—well, worn and ready for throwing. 

WARM AND FUZZY | The Man and Cat Omnidesign mascots, Luci and Abella (above, left). Luci, the Calico is the most incredible, magical cat I've ever had. She likes her yogurt in the mornings and has been with me for 16 years now. Much younger than Luci, Abella, the Bengal is loud and rambunctious. She always wants to drink from the tub or sink faucets. They are my constant companions and I adore them.

CALENDAR MYSTERY | The mysterious Mayan calendar (right) ends (or transforms consciousness somehow) on December 21, 2001 (Winter Solstice). The Maya had precise knowledge of our solar system's cycles, which they thought coincide with our spiritual and collective consciousness. No one really knows a lot about how or when the Maya culture began, but they have an enduring prophesy. The archeological evidence of them is shrouded in mystery. We'll have to wait and see what mystery will be unveiled during the holidays of 2012.

©2009 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

collecting, photography and styling by Darryl Moland