past. present. future . . .

FROM A DISTANCE, this tree appears classically composed of antique decorations because of its traditional and old-fashioned look, but when you get closer, you'll see that all (except for a few) of the ornaments are modern, or only reproductions of vintage styles.

ALL THE REFLECTION contained in this blog has led me to here. There's no escaping the past. It's sometimes hard to live in the present. And the future doesn't always seem bright. But the string of holidays leading up to Christmas each year have a way of coalescing years of the best memories and pushing one forward into the New Year anew. Could it be 2015 already? How did this happen?

TIME AND AGAIN | This pocket watch ornament sets the tone for past, present and future.

AFTER MORE THAN a year of profound catharsis in my life, I think I've finally learned to listen to the present. To live in it. And to embrace the future with the brightest hopes and dreams. A large part of that is having someone in my life that is living a different phase of their lives, but wants to live it with me, even though I've already been through all of that (and maybe because of it). At 53 years old, I feel like I have a brand new chance for the life I have always imagined. It's amazing how much things can change in a year's time.

FLEETING MOMENTS | Life can catch you by surprise and change directions only when you are intent on listening to the smallest, quietest, but most profound moments.

IT ALL STARTED when Juan Fonseca joined me in life this past summer. I haven't shared a home with a partner in quite a long time. This forced me to restructure my life in ways I knew I needed to and provided the impetus to do it—all with someone I love dearly. This also took me away from this blog for a while. In preparation for Thanksgiving this year, when we hosted Juan's mother and stepfather, we have been reworking our home to make it ours. And, at last, Ive begun sorting through the ephemera of my past life, letting go of things I neither want or need anymore, both physically and in-turn, psychically.

SEEDING THE FUTURE | Pinecone ornaments always figure into the symbology of a tree and are present on nearly every one I decorate.

WHEN THINKING BACK on other Thanksgivings, I remember some amazingly bright spots in my life. It was Thanksgiving day in 1984 when I got the call from the art director of Southern Living magazine announcing that they would like me to join them as a staff artist. This was my career launch after college. And it has affected my life more profoundly than I could ever imagine. This job set the course of my career at that company (most of which were at another magazine it published). It was ten years of working with a warm, creative, family of friends, a large number of whom I am still in touch with. And I learned the skills that have enabled me to create this blog and give me a creative attention to detail that is lost in a quite a lot of modern publishing. I need to tell a story. I need to have resonance in what I'm doing. It's much more than a pretty picture. Publishers these days seem to only be looking at the bottom line and forgetting their real assets.—namely readers. Back then, that seemed to be the most important lifeline for magazines.

GLOBAL RESPONSE | A heirloom glittered globe spins hope for the future. Globe designed by Elliot Raffit.

AND NOW, it begins again. The past does repeat itself. The only difference is all the lessons learned during long-gone times are much more readily available and are viscerally informing my future. And emotionally, it finally feels as if the planets are aligned just right for something better than before. Besides, it was on this day in 1945 that my parents were married. Both lived until just before their 60th anniversary. I can't believe that's been almost 9 years ago. Where does the time go?

BIG PICTURE | Sometimes disparate elements combine themselves into a whole in surprising ways. This tree is a natural-cut tree grown by Cale Smith of G&S Trees Inc. in the Appalachian farms in Elk Park, North Carolina.

THIS TREE is different from a lot of the trees on this blog. Namely because it wasn't begun to be a really fussed-over tree with a cohesive theme. Then there's the full-sized realness of it. When I let go and decided to decorate the tree with regard to how life comes at you—what happened was a lot of disparate pieces coming together and making a beautiful, but imperfect whole. I honestly bought the tree bundled, with only looking at its top. That never happens. Somehow over the years, I've learned to trust my gut. but when the tree farmer said it was a natural-cut tree, that had me. I've grown quite weary of trees that have been coerced into perfect dense cones all their life. You can truly tell the difference a tree makes.

PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE | Everybody knows the story of Ebenezer Scrooge and how he finally found the Christmas spirit. This book is a Barnes & Noble special edition of The Christmas Carol, beautifully bound.

AND IN MY AMAZEMENT, that is just what is happening in my life. We already have added a new family member. We've adopted a "schnoodle", whom we have named Halston. He walked into our home from the Atlanta Humane Society as if he had always been here--even without too much protest from the two cats (Abella and Frida) that already lived here (Frida is crouched under the tree in the photo at top). 

THE PIECES FALL TOGETHER quite perfectly in their imperfection. All you have to do is have a keen eye for balance, be able to take a leap of faith, and understand; just as Ebenezer Scrooge finally did in Dicken's The Christmas Carol, that where you have been affects many more people than you can ever imagine. And what footprints we have left behind profoundly inform our steps into the future.

HERE'S WISHING everyone who reads this a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

SANTA'S BOOT | Robert Brawley's Twinkles and Treats handmade delight is front and center on the tree. A self-proclaimed Halloween Fanatic, OOAK ornaments for all seasons are available on his Etsy site.

CHILDLIKE WONDER | This kitch figurine found this past summer on the clearance table at the Savannah Urban Outfitters, when Juan and I were on our first vacation together, captures the essence of a child at Christmas and became part of our decor this year.

PRESERVING SANTA | The timeless quality of Santa's story captures new hearts and minds every season if you just choose to believe.

©2014 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

collecting, photography and styling by Darryl Moland.

under the stars

IF FOR NO OTHER REASON than to wish for a true soul partner—gazing upward at a starry sky from an unencumbered beach unspoiled by the lights of civilization—can bring one’s destiny into focus. An entirely romantic notion? Possibly. But it is worthwhile to succumb to the humbling presence of limitless sky. In a fleeting moment, you can feel as though you’ve tapped into the divine plan for the universe. 

SEASHELLS AND CANDLELIGHT | An assemblage of shells and other objects, a few of which were found on the beach at Tulum; encroach the container of this driftwood tree. The candle (its cucumber lime scent being named Tulum) was one of a few thoughtful birthday gifts this year from Devin Borden, my fellow traveler (and partner of two years) to that magical place in Mexico last November. The small "tree" attached to a piece of coral was found during a walk down the beach at sunrise on the last morning of our trip. Aside from the many unforgettable memories, this is the most cherished souvenir I returned home with—a piece of nature serving as a sort of divining rod to uncover the inspiration and resonance for this post's writing months after this life-changing trip.

HAVING THIS EXPERIENCE with someone you wish to be a living and growing part of your life will ignite a fire at your core that can never be extinguished by absence. If anything, if you truly love someone, “absence does make the heart grow fonder.” Plato theorized that each person is half of an androgynous being split by the gods, creating male and female. Within us, at a deeply subconscious level, we know something is amiss; and we seek wholeness again.

THE DIVIDE might not always be a distinct separation between male and female. There are components of both in all of us. Like puzzle pieces without an image imprinted on them, it is difficult to recognize how the fit comes together. But with enough turns, and enough inward and outward examination, the shapes can finally be matched and locked together.

DRIFTWOOD AND STARS | The garland loosely wrapped around this driftwood tree is made from plastic-coated electrical wire in yellow and green, strung with metal stars implying the "electric circuitry" of the night sky. These stars have been oxidized to create a rich verdigris patina—representing the alchemy and magic seen in the night sky layered with millions of stars.

THE LIGHT REFLECTED from the stars speaks to us. When laid bare before our eyes we are reminded that we are tiny pieces of an unimaginably infinite universe. We can be manipulated by change as easily as the slightest breeze wafts yesterday’s dust into a corner. But we can will ourselves to make our lives happen right before us. We always have a choice to seek, to learn, and to find our own paths.

SUPERNATURAL TOPPER | I've cherished this unusual winged mermaid for many years. Holding the treetop star, she finds a symbolic home atop this tree. With her fish tail and wings, she embodies the link between the earth and the sky, creating a perfect visual metaphor for the larger-than-the-both-of-us connection we felt that night under the stars.

THIS IS THE STUFF of life. Our journey, our meanderings under an infinite immovable sky, are revealed to us in an awesome glory, guiding us in ways beyond our will, beyond our reality, and beyond our imagination. Finding this resonance with a soul partner is the ultimate intent of my dreams. I want us to grow together into a creation unimagined by our limited view of events and ideas for which we absurdly place a label of truth.

STAR PATINA | Some of the metal stars developed interesting color patterns during the oxidation process, forming a varied, but cohesive palette for the neutral background of driftwood assembled into a tree.

THE REAL TRUTH is found in our humblest moments. Moments that resonate at our core in an honest movement through time and space that is entirely precious and profoundly creative. This creative force is love—pure and simple. What our past was, as seen from our future deserves more than a blink when looking back across our shoulders. It is possible that an eternally binding love still grows between us.

MAY THE BLINDING ambient and “civilized“ artificial light of our daily lives not obscure the stars. May we always remember the way we felt and what we saw in that multi-layered night together. And may we learn to cherish those who make us whole again. May we learn to assemble those fleeting moments into a union as sure as the footprints we leave in the damp sand. And maybe we’ll finally see those limitless moments as clearly as the unobscured starry skies we look deeply into to navigate our futures—together—even if we’re apart.

ONE MUST STILL HAVE CHAOS IN ONESELF TO GIVE BIRTH 

TO A DANCING STAR. 

—NIETZSCHE

TULUM MEMORIES | A vacation collage assembled from only a few of the photos from our trip to Tulum, Mexico in November 2012. In the photo of me at bottom left, I'm holding a diminuative "tree" embedded in a piece of coral, after finding it on the last morning of our stay there. Instantly becoming one of my most cherished trip souvenirs, it makes a reappearance among the seashells in the photos above—a definite talisman of good memories and future dreams.

WATCH THIS! WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO AWE:

©2013 DARRYL MOLAND | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

collecting, photography and styling by Darryl Moland